I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
