so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
