Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
