Plan B is the new Plan A
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
