Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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