I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just had sex bonerless
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
