I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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