Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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