Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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