you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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