I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
