dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Everyone says I win the strip club
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
