my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All the doctor said was why
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
