Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
