I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
