I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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