Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
