Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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