of course. lets lasso hookers.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
