ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
