I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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