Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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