sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
