Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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