Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
