I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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