1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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