I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
PANTIES FOUND
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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