you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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