the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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