I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
