so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
