hotel room ftw
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
