I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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