party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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