people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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