Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Acid is not a monday night drug
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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