I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize