Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
