just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
