Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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