apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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