Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
