I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
