Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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