Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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