he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
