She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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