Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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