So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
