if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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