I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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