This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
