I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.