Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu

(269): View more from Michigan

Bendover

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(269): I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu (269): Bendover http://tfl.nu/p3pm

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(424): View more from California

you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

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(424): you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain http://tfl.nu/zpba

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(425): View more from Washington

There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.

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(425): There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason. http://tfl.nu/skwm

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(770): View more from Georgia

I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them

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(770): I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them http://tfl.nu/31n4

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(727): View more from Florida

and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

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(727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go. http://tfl.nu/b20y

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality

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(336): I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality http://tfl.nu/g1bs

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(630): View more from Illinois

i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.

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(630): i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered. http://tfl.nu/mib4

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.

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(502): I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all. http://tfl.nu/o1tr

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(859): View more from Kentucky

IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL

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(859): IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL http://tfl.nu/qlmv

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(604): View more from British Columbia

We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE

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(604): We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE http://tfl.nu/3jc2

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(315): View more from New York

There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.

(440): View more from Ohio

its Wednesday...

(315): View more from New York

they're reeeeeally big trays

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(315): There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge. (440): its Wednesday... (315): they're reeeeeally big trays http://tfl.nu/bwkn

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(860): View more from Connecticut

My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.

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(860): My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck. http://tfl.nu/363f

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good

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(860): Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum (1-860): I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good http://tfl.nu/bjb1

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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(701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?

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(803): Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick? http://tfl.nu/r3gk

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