He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
