Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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