And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
