Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it was like eating out sand paper
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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