I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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