I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
