Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
